Second posting in one day...

... aren't you lucky! So i've started my new start by drinking some rose at the keyboard, bad times. Anyway, i have an hour to kill while waiting for boy-face so i thought i would give a little backstory to this here battle with the flab.

I have a story which is all to familiar with a lot of people who battle with their weight. My battle begun in my head when i was young, at home, being told by my parents that certain foods weren't allowed and they would make me fat. We generally ate very well growing up and always had good skin, and i never had a weight problem at all. However, i have ALWAYS had a super unhealthy relationship with food. Let me give you an example: if my parents were away for the evening and i had to feed myself, i would starve myself all day (weetabix for breakfast, bag of salad and dry crackers for lunch) but as soon as i got home it would be glorious bowl after bowl of sugar covered cereal or a tray with 3 burgers and 10 fish fingers smothered in ketchup (note the lack of veggies!) and i used to crave sugar so badly i would eat icing sugar out of sandwich bags.

Needless to say, by the time i left home and went to University and embarked on my own food shopping trips my meals were largely crisps, frozen dinners and oven chips. Only after becoming really ill and malnourished did i consider fruit and veg. This has continued for the last 6 years (not counting a fantastic blip where i lost a stone with slimming world while living at home one summer. I put it back on, and put on another 2 stone 10 pounds. Fun). I have tried going to diet clubs, but it seems once a week is not enough motivation. So now i have you, little blog box. And with you, im going to try and become more painfully honest than i am myself. I eat far more than my fair share of calories. And i also secret eat. Well no longer. You are going to be my little friend, blogface. You are going to be my little box of shame but hopefully also my little box of glee and happiness and flatterness.

My back hurts. And my head hurts. And im so damned tired. My boobs, however, are fabulous. But this is beside the point.

I want to be a size 16 again. Comfortably. I want to feel thin and lithe and as though if i danced it would be pretty, not awkward. I want to be able to run through fields and dance at Glastonbury. And i want to be able to wear whatever i damn well please and look good sitting in any position. And i dont for Gods sake want to be in that position where im lying in bad with my tummy in agony and hundreds of shiny wrappers are mocking me from the bedroom floor.

I have a couple of good plans. I want to try and keep reading Shauna's blog, and also start listening to some Hypnosis apps on my i-phone (by Andrew Johnson). I'm also going to persevere with the wheatgrass and spirulina and so are super fabulous whole food multivitamin type shizz. And KILL CRISPS. Nastards.

Anywhoo...
off again...
type soon blogface

Love you!
hehe

xx